


I Don't Need to Hear You, to love you

by awkwardblogger



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Benny Lafitte & Dean Winchester Friendship, College Student Dean, Deaf Dean Winchester, Deaf!Dean, Foster Care, Hurt Dean Winchester, Incest, John Winchester Being an Asshole, M/M, Parental Dean, Shy Sam, Stanford Era, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-19
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-02-17 12:57:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2310389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardblogger/pseuds/awkwardblogger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a hunt leaves Dean deaf, John leaves dean at the hospital. Dean and Sam continue to grow up away from each other until they meet again at Stanford. Dean is now fluent in Sign Language and can read lips, and he still talks from time to time and is a physcology major. Sam is quickly drawn in by the idea of something new and finds himself falling head over heels for his own brother, without even knowing he's his brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolog

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to my editor, Alli. She's a genus.

When fifteen year old Dean Winchester got out of his father's prized Impala, preparing for Sammy's first hunt, he had no idea it would be his last. Changelings were popping up in town and John had made it sound like killing them would be easy enough. But as Dean found himself pinned to the ground, baby monsters attempting to tear him to shreds, he saw it wasn't true.

"Dad! Burn them, burn them now!" Dean screamed, his own weapon too far away.

John was on the other side of the room, protecting his youngest from the head changeling. He tried to throw his flame thrower to Dean, but as it hit the ground two and a half feet away from Dean, it exploded. The changelings all burst into flames, but dean was screaming and to John's horror, his oldest son wasn't getting up. John carried Dean out fireman style and drove as fast as he could to the ER. Dean was blabbering the whole way, screaming in pain, but when the two other Winchesters tried to speak to him, it was like Dean couldn't hear them.

The ER moved Dean to the top of the list when he came in, and John noticed that Dean was yelling at the doctor in panic, hitting his ears and shaking his head. Sam quickly made up a lie about their kitchen accidentally blowing up with Dean in it and Dean was rushed into a room without his family. Sam and John spent the next five hours in the waiting room while Dean was being treated for smoke inhalation and a badly burned left leg.

"What's taking them so long?" Sam had asked a nurse.

"Well sweetie, they have to peel all the destroyed skin off of your brothers leg and get it wrapped up and treat his lungs. That can take a while." She said sweetly.

Sam wished he didn't ask, because the eleven year old was stuck with the mental image of Dean's leg without skin. Later, they were informed that Dean was taking a quick test, which confused Sam and John. 'Dean got burned, why does he need to take a test?' Both Winchesters had thought to themselves.

That was until the doctor came back with a frown and brought them to Dean's room. Sam saw dried tears on his big brother's face and a machine noisily pumping oxygen into Dean.

" What's going on, is he okay?" John demanded.

"Sir, I'm sorry but your son failed the hearing test." The doctor said bluntly.

John felt his heart jerk. "How?" John demanded.

"An explosion can burst the ear drums if you're too close to it. Dean's ear drums were shattered from the explosion." The doctor informed softly.

"Well do something! Doctors heal things!” Sam said quickly.

"I'm sorry son, but there's no medicine I can give your big brother to help him hear again." The doctor told Sam.

John was silent and it scared Sam, who could only hear dean crying in his room. Sam figured they managed to tell his brother he was deaf somehow because of the crying.

"Thank you doctor, I need to speak with my youngest alone." John said. The doctor nodded and left them alone. The silence was heart stopping and Sam could only imagine Dean's fear right now.

"Dad, what are we doing to do?" Sam asked helplessly.

"We're going to leave." John said firmly.

"But what about Dean's ears?" Sam asked.

"No Sammy, Dean isn't coming with us." John said softly.

Sam froze. "What?"

"Sam, your brother can't hear. He'd just slow us down, we have to leave him." John said, not meeting his son's eyes.

"Dad, Dean's family!" Sam shouted.

"We can't, Sam." John said sternly.

"That's not fair!"

"Life isn't fair, kid." And with that, John grabbed his youngest, grabbed a piece of paper signing away his parental rights and left.

John left and he never, ever looked back....


	2. And I Don't Want The World to See Me

Dean Winchester lost everything that night. He lost his hearing, he lost his family, and he lost his identity. The doctors were writing things down to explain things to him and Dean knew what had happened the moment he saw abandonment papers. John had signed his rights away, disposed of him because he couldn't be a soldier anymore.

Dean spent two days in the hospital before a group home was found for him. The group home was called "Stand Together" and was filled with five other boys from ages 13-17. Dean was the only one that couldn't hear, but Joshua, or so the man who ran the group home wrote, was blind. Dean was grateful he wasn't made Joshua's roommate, instead he was roomed with Benny, a blonde guy with blue eyes and sharpened teeth. Everyone was writing things down to communicate with Dean and it was really irritating, he hopelessly wanted his hearing back. He thought he was losing his mind until Benny passed him a note one day.

'You should learn sign language. I know you can talk, I've heard you, but you can't hear us. Learn a new way to communicate.' The note had said.  
Dean furiously spat at Benny. "Even if I did, you wouldn't understand what I was trying to say!" Dean was obviously trying to be loud, but his vocal cords weren't doing what he had hoped.

Benny felt bad for the guy, because Dean couldn't hear that he hadn't shouted. Dean couldn't hear that he had a lisp(the owner of the group home, Ryan, said that Dean's voice was much better than others because he hadn't grown up deaf) and Dean couldn't hear Benny talk.  
'Than I'll learn with you, brother. We're roommates Dean, and we will be until one of us gets into a foster home or I turn eighteen; and to me, being roommates makes us family.' Benny wrote proudly.  
Dean felt like he was being punked, last time he had family, they left him high and dry in a hospital room without hearing. But Benny knew exactly how Dean felt. Benny's parents left him at a police station with abandonment papers at age twelve and Benny had been in the system ever since. Benny was sixteen, one year older than Dean, and had big dreams; dreams were scarce in the foster system and Dean knew that you had to cling to anyone that had them.  
"Really?" Dean asked  
Benny nodded, taking his roommate's hand with a smile.

\---------------------------  
Across the country in Washington state Sam was lonely, very very lonely. He hated to admit it, but he missed Dean. He missed the obnoxious laugh and constant torment his brother caused. The motel rooms seemed more bare and lonely than ever. John didn't speak of Dean, it was like Dean had up and died and for all Sam knew, Dean could have died in that hospital after they left him.

Sam was forbidden of speaking of Dean, telling people he had a brother or even touching Dean's old leather jacket. Sam feared he'd forget his brother if he listened to his dad and talked about Dean as much as he could at school. After several months of being brotherless, Sam got the crazy idea to look for him. So, Sam found books on sign language and stole them from the library.

Town after town, Sam kept his books hidden in his duffel, only daring to read when John was long gone. Sam's hands were clumsy and chubby, but from training and learning to sign they were getting into shape. Sam found it weird to think about hands being in shape, but his were. Sam found himself infatuated with sign language, doing projects on deaf culture and history, ranting at kids who said "what are you, deaf?" when someone didn't hear them right away and feeling the urge to use his hands when he spoke. Sam was only eleven and was yet to understand why teachers made a sad face when Sam said his brother was deaf. Sam was ignorant to the fact that being deaf wasn't accepted everywhere.

John and Sam could go days without speaking to each other, because Sam was still mad that his brother was gone. John didn't know how to say sorry and wasn't going to give in.  
\--------------------------  
Dean was nowhere near close to being fluent in ASL when his sixteenth birthday rolled around. He was learning to read lips on top of everything else he was doing and was still living in the group home. Three of the boys had gone to foster homes and two had been adopted by their foster family but Benny and Dean weren't one of those people. Most didn't want a deaf child under their roof, and after all the horror stories Benny had from foster homes Dean was happy to stay where he was.

A new man took over Stand Together shortly before Dean's birthday. The guy's name was Bobby and the guy seemed to care about every kid that went in and out of there. Bobby was fluent in sign language and quickly took Dean under his wing.  
'You have to start thinking about your future, son.' Bobby had signed to Dean one night  
'What?' Dean had signed back, anger in his eyes.  
"Look Dean, you're sixteen and sophomore year is when you need to think of college.' Bobby signed.  
Bobby had to letter sign half the words because Dean didn't know them and had used Dean's name sign: smart ass with a D. Bobby's was similar: hard ass with a B. But they were both okay with it.  
'Deaf people don't go to college.' Dean dumbly signed to his mentor.  
'Are you out of your mind? Of course deaf people go to college!'  
'But, I'm a foster care kid, they never get into college.'

'The hell are you talking about, boy? Foster kids get into college all the time.'  
'How? It costs money.'

'Scholarships, you idgit.'  
"Don't sign that fast! I'm still learning!" Dean screamed.

Bobby had sighed at the sound of the boys voice. The boy's lisp was pretty bad and Dean refused hearing aids, so they couldn't work on it.  
'Look Dean, you're a bright boy. Work hard in school and focus on college.' Bobby signed before leaving.  
Benny, dean's best friend and roommate was now seventeen and cramming hard for SAT's so he could get into his dream college, Berkeley. Berkeley was a public college in California, a long ways away from Louisiana, just how Benny wanted it. Benny wanted Dean to succeed too, but Dean could barely think about college. He was having trouble in the present.

\--------------------------  
Sam had a mini heart attack when he forgot what Dean's face looked like. The twelve year old screamed his lungs out, giving john a migraine.  
"Calm down, boy!" John shouted.  
"I forgot what he looks like, dad! I need to see the pictures! Please, please I need to!" Sam begged.  
His face was covered in snot and was redder than a tomato. Puberty had started for the youngest Winchester and he was searching for an identity.

"Sam, stop it." John growled.  
"I can't remember his face dad! I cant!" Sam was screeching, it reminded John of a banshee.

"Be quiet, Sammy!" John shouted.  
"Dad, please!" Sam cried  
"Silence, boy!" John roared.  
Sam resorted to quiet sobbing that made John's heart ache, but he sure as hell wasn't gonna show it.

Sam looked like a grade A mess. His hair was everywhere, his red face was covered in snot and he was rocking back in forth. John really didn't need this drama. Sure, he understood that it was hard to say goodbye, but Dean wasn't their family anymore. Dean was the state of Louisiana's problem now and even if John could get Dean back, he'd have to change his whole life style to accommodate for a deaf child.

"Look, Sammy. I know you miss him and I know you want to remember what he looks like, but Dean's gone." John sighed.  
"You make it sound like he's dead." Sam accused with a sniffle.  
"Maybe he is, I don't know. All I know is we haven't seen him in a long time, Sam, and we will probably never see him again; so you need to be a big boy about this." John told his son.

Sam frowned deeply. He hated it when his father hinted he was acting like a baby. Sam Winchester was no baby, he was twelve years old and everyone knew twelve was a big boy age.  
"But I want my brother back." Sam whispered softly.  
John sighed. 'I know buddy, I know.' The adult thought to himself.  
\-----------------------------  
Dean was finally fluent at ASL at age seventeen. Benny was no longer in the group home, because he was too old; but he shared an apartment with three other guys who out grew the system until he finished high school, so Dean still saw him. When Benny left, Dean got a new roommate, eleven year old Samandriel. Samandriel was the child of an extremely religious family and the poor kid lost his mind when his father beat his mother to death. The foster homes didn't want the boy so he ended up at Stand Together Group Home.

To Dean's surprise, Samandriel was fluent in sign language because his mother was deaf. The two quickly became close and Dean found himself as the kid's parental figure. Bobby was proud of Dean, because he made three honors courses this year and had picked a dream college: Stanford University.  
Sure, he knew it was a long shot, but Benny got an early acceptance to culinary school in New York, one of the best in the country; so if Benny could do it so could Dean. The whole group home was shocked when Benny announced he no longer wanted to go to Berkeley, last year, and wanted to be a chef. He enrolled in cooking classes and quickly became great at it, earning himself a place in a great college.

Dean's life was headed in the right place for the first time in two years. Dean had come to the decision that on his eighteenth birthday he was going to change his last name. 'Winchester' had become another painful memory that he was left in a hospital, alone, because he simply couldn't hear.  
\------------------------------------  
Sam had completely forgotten what his brother's voice had sounded like by the time he turned thirteen, but by now he knew better than to cry to John about it. The last thing he wanted was to get yelled at for thinking about Dean again. Sam was now fluent-ish in ASL. He completing the eighth grade, fluent in a language he had no idea about only three years earlier.

John hadn't disposed of Dean's things still and it was painful. Sam swore he could still smell Dean on the old duffel, but by now he wasn't sure if it was Dean or his father he was smelling. Many nights the Winchesters had laid restless, wondering about Dean; though neither told the other.

Sam had become extremely resentful towards his dad and wasn't afraid to show it. They were constantly at each other's throats with criticisms and hurtful remarks. John had made it clear Sam wasn't too old for a spanking and had often left Sam with a sore, pink ass. But in the most fucked up way, the spanking just made Sam miss Dean more.

When Sam was little, Dean used to hold him after he got a spanking from Dad.  
"I'm sorry Sammy." Dean would say, hugging Sam close.  
"It hurts, De." Sam used to whine.  
Dean would give him lollipops and let him play with his "big boy" toys to make up for the pain. But, Dean wasn't here to give him lollipops and toys, Dean was somewhere in New Orleans wondering why they left him.  
\---------------------------------  
Dean celebrated his eighteenth birthday by graduating a semester early from High School, getting his last name changed, and receiving an acceptance letter from Stanford. Dean was now Dean Michael Doe, not Dean John Winchester. His farewell to the group home was painful and filled with tears.

'Please don't go, Dean!' Samandriel had signed pitifully.  
'I'm sorry, buddy, but I have to.' Dean had signed back.  
'Don't worry Samandriel, Dean will visit during the vacations.' Bobby reassured everyone.  
Samandriel's name sign had become cute with an A, because the kid was fucking adorable.  
'Just not this summer.' Dean said.

Dean was starting his first semester of college, while everyone else was starting their second. During the summer he'd take his second semester, so he'd be ready for his second year when Fall rolled around again.  
'I'm gonna miss you, Dean.' Samandriel signed tearfully.  
Dean hugged the kid tight and than gave Bobby the biggest hug before hopping into Benny's truck. Benny drove all the way down from the big apple to drive Dean to Stanford and it was a huge moment in Dean's life.

"I'll write every chance i get!" Dean called as they drove away.

The drive up to California was eventful and magical for Dean. He could read lips now, so he and Benny talked instead of signed most of the way up. Benny told Dean about a beautiful "bird" he met at school and Dean told Benny that he was "too gay to care about women" earning a hearty laugh from Benny.  
The group home was fully aware of Dean's sexuality, but it didn't seem to matter to anybody and that was a big relief for Dean.

The trip lasted two days until they finally made it to Campus. Dean had earned himself a full academic scholarship and was so proud, that when he saw the school he burst into tears.

'C'mon brother, this is your big moment.' Benny cheerfully signed, clapping Dean's shoulder.  
'I can't believe we're here.' Dean signed truthfully.  
'You better, because I'm not taking you back.' Benny teased.  
Dean grinned and went into the main building. He was told where his dorm was and Benny helped him take his stuff there. Dean didn't get a roommate here, because the school figured a deaf student would have trouble with a hearing student that didn't know ASL.  
With Benny's help, Dean's dorm was set and he was going to be on his own for the first time ever.

"Dean, if you need me, don't you dare hesitate to text me, you got that?" Benny demanded.  
"I got it Benny. Just promise to take a plane if it's an emergency." Dean teased, his deaf lisp clinging to his words.  
Benny grinned and hugged Dean tight, who hugged back just as tight. The boys would never admit it now, but they cried as Benny drove away.  
\--------------------------------  
Sam started his Freshman year of high school in Nebraska; classy. This year, he didn't tell people he had a deaf brother when his teachers asked if he wanted to share anything. Sam just shrugged.  
John piled on the hunts like never before. Sam never had a moment of peace, never had a second to just think. And John wanted it that way. Whenever Sam had time to himself, he came at John with screams and accusations.

But lately, things have been worse than they were before. Now fourteen, Sam was starting to notice other people; he was starting to notice boys and girls. John wasn't homophobic, but he didn't have much support to offer Sam, even if Sam wanted it.

Moments like these are when Sam thinks about Dean the most. Wonders what Dean would have thought, how Dean would have felt about it. They never really knew Dean's sexuality and now it was just one of the many things Sam was dying to know about his big brother. Of course, liking people and hunting a lot aren't the main reason Sam is at an awkward spot with his dad. School is one of the reasons.

Yes, you read correctly. Smarty pants Sam Winchester had a problem in his life due to school.  
Yikes!

Well, the problem was, that Sam's teachers saw the blooming potential in Sam and they didn't see the potential in killing things; they saw it in academics. And one English teacher, one who wanted to listen not judge, was all it took to make Sam want to go to college. You can imagine how that went over with Johnny boy.

"The fuck you mean 'you wanna go to college'?! You're a hunter, not some prep school boy!" John screamed.  
"How'd you even find those fliers?! Ever heard of personal space?!" Sam shouted back, snatching his college pamphlets from his father.

"Listen to me, Sammy! Fucking Listen!" John roared, pushing his son into a chair.  
Sam didn't move, just glared into his father's eyes. Even with no time to think, Sam had no idea what to think. 'How much scarier and fucked up can my life be?' Sam asked himself in his head.  
"You're a hunter. That's what you are and that's what you'll always be. You seem to be forgetting that, forgetting that monsters killed your mother! Monsters are the reason Dean isn't with us anymore, Sam!" John exclaimed, his hands flying everywhere.

"No, you're the reason Dean isn't with us. You left him at the hospital. You never looked back. The monsters aren't the reason I don't have my brother, you are." Sam spat.

That night, Sam ended up with a black eye and in a car going to Pastor Jim's.  
\------------------------------  
Dean wrapped up his first year of college right before summer ended. Now nineteen and living as a sophomore at college on campus, Dean found himself with more freedom than he ever had in the home or with the Winchesters. When everyone else came back to campus, Dean was welcomed with a roommate; another deaf student named Gabriel. Gabriel was born deaf and only seventeen, but he was smarter than Dean had ever dreamed to be before he lost his own hearing.

Dean signed up for a Human Sexuality course, Psychology 101, and many other classes but those were his two favorite. Dean had a friend from last year, a junior in college, Castiel Novak, who was excited to get his bachelors degree so he could come back for grad school. Castiel wanted to be a doctor, and Dean would be damned if Castiel wasn't the best pre-med student in the school.

Dean had decided to get his bachelors degree in Liberal Arts and to find out what he wanted to do between now and by the time he gets his degree. Than, he'd come back for grad school. It wasn't a bad idea, according to Bobby, who had nearly fainted in joy when Dean got straight B's in his first year of college. Benny was doing good up in New York, getting ready to finish up culinary school in a year and get a part time job at a bakery while taking night classes at a business school. It was Benny's dream to have his own diner and the whole home cheered him on when he announced over the summer he was this much closer to getting there.

Dean had a steady boyfriend for his first semester of his sophomore year of college, a guy named Thomas who was a biology major. But Thomas got his bachelor's degree and headed off to a pristine grad school and long distance didn't work for Dean. It was sad for Dean to see him go, mostly because Thomas was a hearing guy that was fluent in ASL due to a deaf cousin living with him for most of his childhood. Thomas was a damn genius and graduated early, but Dean was happy for him.

Dean quickly made a love-hate friendship with Gabriel who was a sarcastic little shit who used humor to deal with being Deaf. Everyone dealt with it, it was just that everyone handled it differently.  
\------------------------------  
Sam finally came home from Pastor Jim's a year later, now fifteen and a sophomore with a "fuck you dad" attitude. Clearly, Sam didn't handle it all well at all. Now Sam wanted to run away to a normal life more than ever and John could be mistaken for a fire breathing dragon he was so pissed.

Sam's grades were fantastic and it made John worry. Yeah, who'd have thought that good grades would make a parent worry? Well, hunter parents who want their kids to be hunters worry, and dear fuck do  
they worry.

Sam's grades made the other sophomores cringe in fear that their parents would find out someone could do that well. In a way, Sam was fine being friendless for this. He had big dreams. Dreams of being out of hunting and happy; happiness, real happiness, was big in Sam's dreams.

But a big wig college was even better. Something like Harvard or Stanford, maybe even Berkeley; those were the colleges Sam would kill to get into. But he kills anyway, so it wouldn't have been much  
of a problem anyway.

At fifteen Sam got his first REAL girlfriend, Jo Harvell. Jo was the daughter of a local bartender and small business owner and she was really pretty. She had an attitude that drew him in and was so smart, Sam would have been dumb to turn down someone so amazing. They had three dates before they made it official and Sam still remembers the first time their families met.

Jo had showed up with her mom at the rental apartment they were staying at for dinner. That's where it all went down hill.  
"John?" Ellen, Jo's mom, had cried.  
"Ellen? What the hell are you doing here?' John demanded, sounding a bit panicked.  
The kids shared a confused glance and Ellen wrapped a protective momma bear arm around Jo.

"I'm here to meet my daughter's boyfriend's family." Ellen said firmly.  
John paled.

"Sammy, you never told me your girlfriend's name was Joanna Harvell." John said awkwardly.  
"I told you her name was Jo and that her mom ran a local bar." Sam reminded sassily.  
John hesitantly let their guests in and proceeded to give Sam the most awkward night of his life. John looked guilty the whole time and Ellen wouldn't meet his eyes. The two teenagers didn't even have time to talk away from their parents before John kicked them out. At school the next day, Jo and him talked intently about how weird their night had been and about how strange both of their parents had acted.

Only one week later John bagged a werewolf and they moved on, leaving the Harvell's in the rearview mirror.  
\---------------------------------  
Dean started his junior year with a boyfriend at his side and a smile on his face. Dean had his second serious relationship at age twenty with a M.I.T. student named Ash, who transferred out of M.I.T. and to Stanford. Ash was a genius and quickly learned sign language so he could comfortably communicate with Dean however either of them wanted.

Over the summer Dean went back to the home and celebrated Samandriel's fourteenth birthday with everyone. Samandriel had happily announced that he met a couple that wanted to adopt him that were soon to move to California, around the Palo Alto area, so he'd be near Dean. They had all congratulated the kid and proceeded to bombard Benny when he announced he was starting in at business school early while still taking culinary school.

When school had started again, Benny was in the third year of his relationship with a girl named Andrea and Samandriel had been adopted and lived in California. Bobby had written him saying he was sad to see his boys go but couldn't be more proud and Dean cried like a little bitch (though he'd never admit it now).

Gabriel was still Dean's roommate and was thinking about moving out of the dorms during his second semester. Dean told the other guy to do what he pleased, that no one would judge him. This was how Dean ended up without a roommate in his second semester and Ash moved in instead. Castiel was still friends with Dean and was helping him prepare for Junior exams.

Cas got accepted into Stanford's Med school for next year and had cried with joy. Ash was still not sure what to do with himself now that he wasn't at M.I.T., because while the guy loved computers he wanted that to stay a hobby.

Dean thought about it and got himself a job at Men's Warehouse. It paid above minimum wage and Dean got some nice tips every once in a while when someone wanted to give some money under the table to the guy who helped them get such a nice suit. As a birthday present, Dean used his employee discount to buy Bobby a suit the guy wouldn't shut the fuck up about.

Bobby responded with a picture of him in the suit and all the kids in the home with pleading faces.  
\---------------------------  
Sam started his junior year at a school in West Virginia; Sam cringed when he told people he ever lived in such a place. He did really good in school and took senior classes, any sixteen year old would brag about that.

But John was getting worse about that. He was starting to really not like Sam getting such good grades and Sam wasn't having it. The kid wasn't thinking about his dad anymore, he was thinking about himself. Sometimes John would wonder why Sam didn't speak to him anymore, he'd wonder what the breaking point was. Little did John know the breaking point was when Sam could barley remember his brother at all. It was a hard thing to cope with.

Sam had a few girlfriends since Jo and none of them were good relationships, they were all just little somethings.

Sam hit puberty like a train at sixteen and went from 5'6 to 6'2 and wasn't done growing yet. He began to fill out and work out more. Muscles bulged whenever Sam moved and for the first time in Sam's life, girls were throwing themselves at him. It was weird and new and just plain different.

So, he turned to Pastor Jim, who helped Sam understand that now, girls wanted him. It made Sam feel like a piece of meat, knowing people wanted him because he was no longer a twig. But it was also satisfying, deeply satisfying.  
\--------------------------  
Dean turned twenty-one with a bang. He had had a rad year, watching Benny graduate and enter his second year of business school while working to take care of himself made Dean remember being only fifteen and looking to Benny for help.

But now, Dean Doe wasn't foolish and stupid, he was smart and knew what was going on.  
He edged towards the end of his senior year at college and decided to go back to Stanford as a Psychology major for grad school and ended up breaking up with Ash in the middle of second semester when Ash dropped out of Stanford. Dean got himself a one bedroom apartment in an area near the college, which he called home.

He didn't have any roommates but had plenty of friends from college.

Dean had finally made it to where he wanted.  
\------------------  
Senior year of High School. For most people, that meant happy parents, scholarships; but for Sam Winchester, that meant a father who couldn't wait for his son not to be in school so he could work his ass off.

John was still set on Sam not going to college, not even when Sam did fucking perfect on his SAT's! But Sam didn't plan on listening to John. He wanted out and he's wanted out for much longer.  
Maybe it was the fact he wasn't allowed to go to prom because he was supposed to be hunting monsters or maybe it was losing your family to it that turned Sam off from hunting, pick for yourself. But either way, when Sam got a full ride to Stanford University in Palo Alto, California; Sam was going.

He remembers walking across the stage and his dad not being there, handling a damn good monster. but when he left, he left John in the damn dust.

That was the happiest day of his life


	3. Stanford, home of the... deaf?

The ride to Palo Alto was bumpy for Sam. He got there by hitchhiking and long bus rides, but when eighteen year old Sam finally got to Stanford, he saw that it was going to be all worth it. The school was beautiful, a real sight for sore eyes, and it was huge.  
Brand new students were every where, chatting in excitement as they explored the campus, looking for their dorms. The upperclassmen were happily pointing the new students in the direction of their dorms and Sam felt like he was in a dream.

Dean smiled, watching the new students wandering around in excitement; he remembered what that was like. It was the beginning of his adventure into grad school, Dean's first day as a grad student, and he had to admit he was excited. His life was better than ever; Benny now had his diner and business was booming, Samandriel had taken up being called "Alfie" and was seventeen, now starting his senior year of high school and had his eye on Ohio State for college. Business was booming down at Men's Warehouse, newly graduated college students were there day-in and day-out looking for clothes for interviews.

Dean had a fat paycheck, a nice apartment, good friends and a good education; the only thing that was missing was a special someone.  
\-------------------  
Today was the first day of classes and Sam was dressed in a t-shirt and old, worn out jeans. He had no idea what you were supposed to wear for your first day of college classes, so he put on what felt comfortable. But, he got lost looking for Greek Mythology 101.  
"Excuse me, could you tell me where I could find Greek Mythology 101?" Sam asked the first guy he saw that looked like he knew where he was going.  
The guy didn't as much as show that he had heard Sam, so Sam went up and tapped him on the shoulder.  
"Excuse me!" Sam said loudly.  
The guy turned around and Sam spotted a hearing aid in the guy's ear.  
"Yeah?" The guy asked.  
Sam heard the deaf accent right away and his face flushed with embarrassment.  
"Sorry, but can you tell me where I can find the Greek Mythology class room?" Sam asked, signing the words as he spoke.  
The guy smiled, a beautiful smile that lit up his whole face. Sam felt his insides melt.  
"Yeah, it's in the 3000 building. Next building on your left." He said, signing as he spoke.  
'Thanks. I'm Sam.' Sam signed, not bothering to speak.  
'Dean.' The guy signed back with a smile.  
Sam's heart felt a pang. Dean had been his brother's name, but Sam knew this couldn't have been his brother.  
"Would you like me to show you where it is?" Dean asked, not bothering to sign this time.  
Sam nodded bashfully and allowed the deaf student to lead the way. Sam got funny looks from students who didn't seem to know Sam, but knew Dean. They gave him a "what are you doing with a deaf guy" type of stare, and it made Sam feel like he shouldn't be there. But Dean ignored them, oh he saw them, but he ignored them. He had spoken to hearing people all the time, sometimes people who didn't even sign, but still everyone acted like it belonged on the five o clock news. Dean recognized Gabriel winking at them and quickly signed "Kiss my ass, Gabriel", earning a laugh from the fellow deafie.  
"Does he sign?" Sam asked, while signing to Dean.  
"Gabriel is deaf." Dean spoke, signing it to Sam.  
"Oh." Sam muttered, but Dean didn't hear Sam or see his lips move.  
Soon, they were at the Greek Mythology 101 room and Dean was sending a wave to the teacher who waved back.  
"There you are, good luck." Dean grinned.  
"Thanks. Um, see you around?" Sam asked hopefully, stumbling a bit on his signing.  
"Yeah." Dean chuckled, it was so cute when hearies stumbled on signing.  
Sam scampered into his class like if he stuck around with Dean he'd fuck up his chances, which he very well could. A translator that was hanging around the corridor for deaf students signed that some classes were about to start and Dean left.  
\------------------------  
For the rest of the day, all Sam could think about was the beautiful deaf stranger. Dean had been extremely attractive and nice, even didn't comment on his little fuck ups with signing. In a way, he'd be the perfect first college boyfriend for Sam; but he had no idea if he'd ever seen Dean again, let alone his sexuality.  
But life was funny, and it never seemed to happen the way Sam thought it would.  
\-------------------------  
A week after Sam met Dean, he walked into Men's Warehouse with his friend Jessica. He had a job interview with a snobby daycare and needed to buy a suit that he could wear for other interviews like this one. Much to Sam's amazement, Dean walked up to him in a nice, form fitting suit with his hair styled in a way that made Sam want to lick all over Dean's body.  
"Hey Sam, finding your classes alright?" Dean asked, signing as he spoke.  
"Uh, yeah. I-uh- I came in for a suit. Uh...." Sam mumbled feeling stupid.  
Dean smiled. "Right this way."  
As Sam followed Dean, he didn't even notice Jessica's eye language that obviously said " he's total arm candy". He, as dumb as it sounds, was wrapping his head around the fact that Dean could work at a store like this. Sure, he talked and seemed to read lips and had a hearing aid, but didn't people complain? Sam didn't balls up and ask. He wasn't gonna risk his chances with the guy.

Dean picked out a navy blue suit and a black tie and handed it to Sam.  
"Here, try this on and show us." Dean commanded, directing Sam to a changing room.  
Sam awkwardly shuffled on in and began to change.  
"Hi, I'm Jess." Jess said when it was just her and Dean.  
Dean shook her hand with a polite smile. "I'm Dean."  
"So, how do you know Sam?" She asked, twirling a bit of her hair in her hand.  
"Showed him where his Greek Mythology class was." Dean told her.  
"Oh my god! I totally could have used you! I was so lost!" She squealed.  
Dean cocked his head slightly to the side in confusion.  
"Uh, sorry?" It was more of a question than a statement.  
"How long have you been going to Stanford?" Jessica asked, twirling her hair, leaning closer to the deaf man.  
Jessica's lips moved too fast, so Dean only picked up half of what she was saying.  
"What?" He asked.  
"I said, how long have you gone to Stanford." Jessica asked slower.  
"Five years." Dean said with a small smile.  
Jessica went to flirt again and Sam came through the dressing room. Dean whistled, looking Sam up and down.  
"How do I look?" The long haired boy asked, awkwardly playing with his own hands.  
"Fuck getting a job, you're gonna get laid in that suit!" Jessica squealed.  
"What she said." Dean laughed.  
Sam blushed and tried to hide his face, and failed horribly. Dean straightened the suit jacket with a kind smile.  
"On the serious side, you look smart, hireable. Put a dark tie with this and some dress shoes and you'll get hired in no time." Dean signed.  
"Thanks." Sam signed back and retreated to the dressing room.  
Jessica took Sam's retreat as an okay to start flirting again.  
"Wow, you're so buff." She purred.  
"And gay." Dean said, catching on to what was going on.  
Dean walked away to help another customer, his deafness blocking Sam's laughter from him. Sam came back out and his regular clothes and laughed at Jess.  
"Really gotta work on that gaydar, Jess." He teased.  
"Fuck off! Its not my fault he's beautiful." She pouted.  
Sam rolled his eyes and paid for his suit, shooting moon eyes at the back of Dean's head before leaving.  
\--------------------------------  
The next time the boys encountered each other was a much more fun encounter. It had been two weeks since the experience at Men's Warehouse and both boys were thinking of the other. Neither could deny that the other was attractive and there was a pull to each other. So, when a back to school party was thrown by a local Fraternity and the whole school was invited, Sam and Dean saw each other again.

Dean went to the party with Gabriel and his boyfriend, Charlie (a friend Dean met at a gay pride parade who didn't attend Stanford), and Garth (a friend of Dean's who had just become a Dental Technician). They were all signing to each other as they drank and watched kids not yet old enough to drink get drunk. Not all of them were deaf, Garth wasn't and neither was Gabriel's boyfriend, but they all knew ASL.

Sam had arrived with Bradey and Jessica, excited for his first college party. He was a little freaked out at how slutty some of the girls were and how weird people were acting; but when his eyes found Dean sipping from a red cup and signing to a redheaded girl, his whole mood changed.  
"You guys go on, I'll be back." Sam told his friends, leaving them behind for Dean and his friends.  
"Sam, good to see you again!" Dean said happily, signing as he spoke.  
"Yeah, it's nice to see you again too." Sam chuckled, signing a bit.  
"Guys, this is Sam. Sam these are my friends." Dean signed.  
"Hey, I'm Charlie Bradberry." Charlie grinned, her eyes wandering to a hot girl who was dancing.  
"Gabriel." Gabe signed.  
"I'm just here for his sake." Gabe's boyfriend shrugged.  
"I'm Garth Fitzgerald. It's nice to meet you Sam." Garth beamed, shaking Sam's hand.  
Garth was new to being deaf, having only lost his hearing a year ago in a bad accident.  
Sam smiled at all of them and found himself laughing with Dean Doe as Dean's friends went off to have fun and get drunk.

"There is no way you did your schools senior prank by yourself!" Sam signed while laughing.  
"Oh, but I did. I put pop-rocks in the school coffee pot." Dean grinned proudly.  
"Holy shit! That must have been a sight." Sam chuckled.  
"Sure was." Dean snickered.

They lost themselves in jokes and funny stories, it was crazy how they felt like they were all alone even though they were in a crowded fraternity house.  
"Here's my number, text me sometime." Dean said, handing a piece of paper with his phone number on it over to Sam.


	4. Cozy coffee

Almost two days had passed since Dean gave Sam his number and Sam was a hot mess. He pushed everything to the side and texted Dean constantly, got books from the library about relationships between hearing and deaf people. Jess wouldn't be surprised if the notebook Sam was hiding from her was full of him planning their wedding.

 

"You haven't even been on a date yet." Jess told her friend. "Save the goo-goo eyes for after he asks you out."

"Shut up, Jess!" Sam whined, his face drenched in embarrassment.

"No. Sam, you should get to know him better before you declare your love." She said, jabbing her fork in his direction.

"Yeash, point your salad somewhere else." Sam grumbles, eyeing the salad covered fork in his face.

Jess rolled her eyes and waved her middle finger in his face.

"Such an obscene hand gesture from such a pristine girl." Sam smirked, quoting the Breakfast Club.

"Shut up, Winchester." She barked, but there was no real heat behind it.

Sam gave her a shit eating grin. Jess just rolled her eyes as Sam's phone began to buzz. He jumped to look at it and beamed.

"Did lover boy text?" She asked with a smirk.

He nodded, shoving his phone in her face.

 

_Would like to see you in person again. Lunch tomorrow? - Dean_

 

Jess read the text and whistled.

"Sam I may have spoken too soon. Looks like he wants a lunch date." She giggled.

Sam sighed happily, hugging his phone.

"I fucking love Stanford. I'd never get asked out by a cute deaf guy if I was still living with my dad." Sam informed her dreamily.

" Was he really that bad?" She asked.

 

Sam  **never**  talked about his dad. It seemed like he had a dirty secret that he was hiding that had to do with his family. Jessica pounced on the chance to learn about his home life every chance she got, but Sam was stubborn.

 

"I don't really wanna talk about it. I'm just glad I got this chance." Sam sad a little more hastily.

 

Jess sighed, knowing she wasn't going to get what she wanted today. Sam just wasn't in the mood for sharing and caring, and when he wasn't in the mood; you couldn't persuade him.

 

As the next day approached, Sam went over exactly how he dreamed the date would go over in his head. His expectations were dumbly high, especially because Sam knew that Dean was older than him and might be into older guys and he wasn’t even sure if it was a date! But man, he hoped it was a date, because Dean was hot, and funny and everything Sam wanted in a man.

 

It was, in some ways, way too good to be true. But Sam dressed in his best cute-yet-casual clothes and spent close to an hour fixing his hair, and when Dean showed up, he looked like he belonged in a magazine.

Dean’s hair was in a sexy, messy style, he was in a Stanford hoodie and blue jeans, yet he looked like a Greek god. Dean beamed at Sam and began to sign.

‘Hey, ready to go?’ Dean asked via sign.

“Oh yeah, totally.” Sam said back, signing as he spoke.

Dean grinned and held out a mocking arm which Sam sarcastically took. They walked to a coffee shop just off campus together and Sam was surprised to see that the place was beautiful. It had a homey, comfortable feel yet still looked professional and like a place you wouldn’t mind getting coffee. They both got coffee and sat at a green table with bean-bag chairs.

 

“Wow, this place is amazing.” Sam said breathlessly, signing as he spoke.

“Yeah, I love this place. I found it when I was a freshman here and have been coming here for coffee ever sense.” Dean grinned.

Dean took a long gulp of his coffee and that sound of happiness he made at the taste was pornographic. Sam would later deny it, but he had to adjust himself because of it.

“Do you come here every morning for coffee?” Sam asked.

“Not usually. I like to save up my money, but this place is surprisingly cheap and I like to study here. It’s calm.” Dean mused.

 

Sam could see why Dean liked the place, it wasn't artistic looking but was covered in pictures from book covers, quotes, and famous paintings. It looked almost like it came out of a chick flick, but Sam loved it and he wouldn’t mind studying there one bit.

 

“Is it always this quiet? Oh! Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Sam gasped, realizing his mistake.

But to Sam’s shock and horror, Dean was laughing. Dean’s laughter was beautiful and exotic, it was light yet hearty, and you had to listen very hard to hear it.

‘No, no, it’s fine. Really, I get that all the time.’ Dean signed as he shook with silent laughter.

“Well, I’m glad you find my embarrassment so funny.” Sam huffed.

“Aw, c’mon Sam. I didn’t mean to embarrass you, I thought it was cute.” Dean said with a smile.

“Really?” Sam asked and Dean nodded.

 

They signed a bit more, talking about goals and college and finally Sam got the balls to ask.

“Is this a date?”

Dean looked half startled by the question.

“Well, yeah. I thought you knew that.” Dean said, looking almost confused.

“Oh! I-uh-I wasn’t sure.” Sam whispered, blushing.

Dean chuckled and took Sam’s hand.

“Well, than I’m glad you asked.” He teased, kissing Sam’s knuckles.

 

 


End file.
